Hi Friends! Happy Hump Day! Hope you’re enjoying the week! Is anyone else stoked it’s March!? I’m finally starting to feel almost emotionally back to some sort of sanity. For a while there, I was spiraling into a downward slump. The store we run had really started to take it’s toll on my emotional status, my body and by the time I got home, I just wanted to crawl in bed and pull the covers over my head. Needless to say, I wasn’t at an all time high to be sharing anything much with anybody. I hit a roadblock in my health and fitness journey. But yesterday, I had one of those “Ah-Ha” moments. So yesterday, I did what I’ve been needing to do for awhile. There was no more denying my clothes not fitting like they used to, or my inability to control my appetite and how much I was emotionally eating or the emotional stress I was feeling. I needed something to keep me line, I needed to pick myself back up since I was going nowhere. So, I went back to square one.
Starting over again
Yesterday, was my first day of not having to run a store like a mule horse. And by mid afternoon, I didn’t know what to do with myself. My body kept procrastinating…I’ll work out later, just one more hour until finally I told myself “STOP!” It’s that kind of anger and frustration that I need to get me off my butt and do something about it. And I am the only one who can do it.There is absolutely nothing like thinking about getting on the scale at the end of the week knowing it’s going to read a number that is higher than you want it to be. Finding out just how high it is is would be even worse. I am all about being open and honest here on my blog, but for now, I don’t want to admit what I might weigh in at. Like I said, I’m back at square one. And that’s alright. At least I admit it to myself and know what I have to work on. I haven’t stepped on the scale.
I am excited about starting over and working towards a new goal this time with a nice reward at the end. My goal is to have lost these 30-40 lbs by our family’s annual New Year’s vacation trip to Disneyland. So you could say that I’m sweatin for the bikini I want to wear on our vacation.According to my planner yesterday, I have 10 months to do it. I am excited to plan my meals out for the week and have that structure that I need to stay on point.
A few days ago, I received my new monthly shipment of Shakeology after postponing it for a few months. Yes, I had postponed it and believe me I was feeling the repercussions of not drinking it daily. I didn’t stop my workouts and drinking my Shakeology because I wanted to. I stopped because when I got busy at the store I needed every minute I could to do what I needed to and was bringing the emotional stress from work home in the evenings. The easiest thing to give up to make time for that was my time at Shakeology and working out. All of a sudden, my evenings were spent lounging around, feeling unmotivated so I wasn’t feeling the energy or motivation to make the time for my daily home workouts. Instead of putting on my walking shoes the minute I got home and running out the door, I was sitting down at my dining room table to continue to work on whatever I brought home with me. I was also eating whatever was quick and easy. All of this added up to extra pounds for me. Nobody’s fault but mine. I didn’t like it but I was doing what had to be done. This is where I need to find balance. I work too hard to keep things busy and I can’t let being busy control my every minute and affect my wellness.
I look forward to sharing recipes, thoughts, motivation, and more with you. I also will continue to work on the personal development because I think it’s important for my well-being. When I went for my walk yesterday, I had a goal of 6 miles and only did 4.56 miles. Which I think is a good start after not walking for a few months. The whole time I was thinking about others meeting their goals. I want to again feel that excitement of getting to my goal weight and I want to be proud of myself for working my butt off.
It won’t be easy. Lord knows my body doesn’t respond like it used to. But nothing worth having is easy. It’ll be hard to not eat everything in site when I start to feel the emotional stress and have to really limit those glasses of wine I so enjoy. On the flipside, I will enjoy foods that I love and I will be taking better care of myself. In return, I look forward to feeling better not only about how I look, but also about how I feel. I don’t like being achy and sore all the time. My body is telling me something. And finally, I am listening. That is a very empowering thing.
I hope you’ll continue to follow me on my journey. Any support I can get is important to me and will motivate me to keep plugging away at this, one pound at a time, however long it takes. Starting over is not that bad…because it’s another chance to make things right.
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